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Friday, November 30, 2012

Kids' Belief in Santa Claus

I was talking with a couple of friends the other day.  We started discussing Santa Claus and whether or not our children believe in him.

The conversation started in a lighthearted way, but changed a little as we got deeper into the conversation.  One friend felt very strongly that it is awful to perpetuate a long-existing myth with your children.  Most of the other moms were taken back by this and didn't quite know what to say.  (This particular mom doesn't celebrate Halloween or allow her kids to either, albeit for a very different reason.  She believes that people could easily make Halloween a very ugly celebration.) 


So this discussion about Santa Claus turned into more of an in-depth conversation about the meaning behind it all; we also talked about the ever increasing commercialization of this holiday, how easy it is to forget the true meaning of the holiday and get caught up in all the hype.

Later, as I was thinking it all over when I was at home, I thought about my friend's point, and then explored how I felt about it all.  Virginia's letter to the editor came to mind, along with the reply, "Yes, Virginia, There Is a Santa Claus." (If you're not sure what I'm talking about read about it on a Hub page I wrote going into more detail.  My Hub page is entitled, "'Is There a Santa Claus' - Revisited.")

So do YOU think there's harm in living out the dream of Santa Claus with your children?  What do YOU do to keep the true meaning of Christmas alive?  Does Santa overpower it all?

What do YOU think?  Please add to this post by commenting below.

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Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Baby Strollers and Other Baby Carriers

I had a pregnant friend as me the other day about baby strollers.

There are now so many on the market, she wanted to know which baby strollers are "best" and which ones she should stay away from.  She also wanted to know what I always used to carry my kids when they weren't in a stroller, (usually called baby carriers.)

Here's what I told her:  No one person can say which stroller is the absolute best.  That's why there are so many on the market with so many different features!  What's important it to narrow down what features are necessary for you.  From there you can decide which one will meet those needs.

Based on the conversation I had with her, I thought it'd be helpful to list some things to consider when choosing between all of the baby strollers and baby carriers out there.  I've not included everything, just brushed over the highlights.  For a more all-inclusive list of things to consider, check out the pages on Positive Parenting with Purpose focused exclusively on each of these. Check out the pages on baby strollers and baby carriers. 



Strollers:

- Do you want a stroller that fits the infant car seat initially, and then converts to a sitting sitting stroller?
- Do you want your child to be able to lie all the way down?  (Some allow for that, but most strollers don't recline all of the way;  older styles do, some newer styles that are take-offs on the old ones will, and prams do.)
- Do you want a "travel system?"  These usually allow for the infant car seat initially.  They also have a lot of nooks and crannies for storing a diaper bag, purse, clothes, drinks and other items.  They're like stroller minivans!
- Is the weight it important to you?  (Will you be taking it in and out of the car a lot? 
How difficult is your vehicle to get a stroller in and out?)  Is the weight more important than the storage space for belongings?    If so, you might want to consider something like the Snap n' Go which carries the infant carrier and is one of the most light-weight ones on the market.
- Where will you be taking the child?  What will you be doing?  (i.e., shopping versus jogging.)
- How many children do you need to transport, and what is the age difference?



Baby Carriers:

- Do you want the child upright or lying down?
- Do you need a lot of mobility or does it matter?  (Some baby carriers are made specifically for hiking/camping and are like backpacks, which allow the parent to have a little more mobility in the front.)
- Are you breastfeeding?
- Do you want your child to be able to face the front, or does it matter?




For both baby strollers and carriers, you'll want to check recalls with the Consumer Product Safety Commission.  With this link you can input the product you are interested in and research any recalls on it and the reasons they took place.  If you just want to research strollers, Parents.com has put together a consolidated list here.

If you are wanting a broader search of all baby products, see this page on baby product recalls.

Know that sometimes companies voluntarily recall their products and/or provide fixes for issues that may cause concern.  You'll want to read the particulars about any recall before deciding against any product.

Do you have any specific features of baby strollers or baby carriers that new or expecting moms should know about?  Let us know!

See these links for more on baby equipment and the baby monitor.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Parenting Children by Being a Parent Not a Friend

Most anybody parenting children would probably say that they really want their kids to like them.  As a matter of fact, I don't know anyone in my friendship circle that doesn't really want their kids to like them. But I do think that there is a fine line between wanting your kids to like you and going too far to become friends with them when what they need is parents.

This is a tough one for me.  I really do want my kids to think that I'm a cool parent; I want them to like me and I want them to want to bring their friends around and not be embarrassed by their mom.  But I guess what I want more, is for them to respect me, and ultimately grow up being respectful, well - adjusted young adults that can understand and appreciate boundaries (relational, societal, etc.)

Now I'm not saying I believe that parents shouldn't be close with their kids.  It's just the opposite, and ultimately, parents having a responsible friendship with their kids is great.  The key, though, is still being a responsible adult with them.  This isn't demonstrated when parents want their kids to like them to the point that they don't help their children.  Being a parent first means being consistent with what you say and do, not rewarding bad behavior because you don't want to create a rift, and not making unpopular decisions because of concern for the kids' reactions.

I found a great article that goes into some other points about this important distinction.  It's called "Your Child is not Your 'Friend'."

I believe responsibly parenting children means knowing at what stage in their development the parents can begin to back away from being just a parent into more of a friendship role.

I have some very close friends who came over this past weekend.  Actually, I am close friends with the father and my kids are very close with his kids.  (He joined all of those that consider themselves one parent families a couple of years ago.  And he's not a single parent with an ex who sometimes helps out; the mother of his children is not in the picture at all.)

He adores his kids.  One of the primary ways that he shows this is by being such a great friend to his children.  And while I absolutely love his kids, I do wonder if their somewhat flippant attitude (that is sometimes really cute), will hurt them in the long run.  They tend to want to befriend adults -- verbally sparring and teasing.

This might be a huge help for them in life because they don't seem fearful of interacting with those older than they are.   But I did notice that, at times, they seem to cross a line.  The other adults that were there seemed to feel the same way.

Only time will tell in this case, and of course, I wish this family only the best.

In my family, though, and because of other situations I've observed where befriending kids seemed to be a detriment, I think I'll continue to ensure they my little folks know their boundaries, explore them and learn what's acceptable and what's not NOW, versus later, and then when they're young adults, I'll hope that that friendship I want can be true and deep with them.

Here's another story from a writer for the Occupy Parenthood section of Communities @ Washington Times.  Her article is titled, "Being a Parent Versus Being a Friend."

What do you think of this topic?  Let me know in the comments section here.



Also, find more on this and other parenting topics at Positive Parenting with Purpose, including some good parenting reference material like parenting books, the best parenting books and parenting classes.